2012 Portland Mini Bike Winter Festival: Smut, Chariot Wars, Drinking, Sprockettes, Nudity, Cheating
February 13, 2012 — PDXPIPELINE
Right after the Valentine’s Day and just before the Mardi Gras fun comes the 2012 Mini Bike Winter Festival all over Portland-t0wn, but mostly in SE PDX. This is the 8th or 9th year of the festival, and the information on the Zoobomb page is pretty light. Luckily we have info that Gabriel sent us a few years back about all that happens. Some of the events have likely changed (stencil night is now craft night it seems), but it appears most are still in place.
Watch this video to get somewhat of an idea and view these pictures on Flickr. Looks/Sounds like a lot of good fun with a little mayhem thrown in for good measure. Even better, all the events are free!
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Related Portland Events & Info:
- Events: Our Portland Events Calendar and Ticket Giveaways
- Updates: You can get all updates on the fest by following Zoobomb on twitter: @zoobombpdx
- February 17: Bike Smut Film Festival @ Clinton Street Theater | Erotic Bike Films, Choose Your Own Adventure
- February 17-21: Portland Mardi Gras Events: Fat Tuesday, Parties, Dinners, Food & Drink Specials
Portland Mini Bike Winter Festival Info:
From Gabriel (2008):
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages and sizes! Step right up and prepare to be amazed and aroused! For years now, in the heart of Cascadia, Portland, Oregon, there has been only one winter bicycle festival in the Pacific Northwest, and that festival is Mini Bike Winter. Created by free-fun-minded individuals as an excuse to to get krunk and wreak some havoc. A combination of thrills, chills, spills, and liquor is just what the doctor ordered to warm the cockles of your heart and in your pants in these dreary winter months. Enjoyed by all walks of life, be it Zoobombers, daily commuters, bike messengers, weekend warriors, or the occasional passer-by, Mini Bike Winter is a free weekend of bike debauchery brought to you by the local bike community, and open to everyone who wants to have a good time. This year, all the stops are being pulled out.
Stencil night, Olympic torch ride, mini bike hill climbs, downhill races, bike-drawn chariot death matches, fashion shows, bike beauty contests, live music, DJ’s, community brunches, death, destruction, mayhem, no-pants dance parties, Olympic-inspired feats of bike strength and stamina, and of course, a little bit of nudity. Ok, so more like a lot of nudity. Mini Bike Winter is a phenomenon that should not be missed, and if you do, you will be ridiculed by all of your friends and family.
BEN HURT Chariot Wars
BEN HURT Chariot Wars be a post-apocalyptic battle for life and limb.
YAR! It be a true test of might and stoopidity. Can you ride a little girl’s bike and get hit the most hardest by a padded mace? Or would you rather cheat, (cheating is allowed) and use chicken-shit bombs made from real chicken-shit like the chicken-shit you are?! Or maybe just show up in your underwear and win anyway because you are badass? Hey, it happened last year¬Â¦There will be a multitude of chariot tests, from speed to steed, gladiator to flatulator, chugger to bugger, flailing to wailing, and dying. Yes dying, and after that, drinking. Okay, fine, during too.
Just watch the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuf_aUc-wwg) and it will all make sense. Maybe.
Thanks for helping spread the free-fun bike madness!
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From the Zoobomb Official Mini Bike Winter Fest Page:
MINI BIKE WINTER 2012
FEB 16TH – FEB 20TH
PORTLAND OR | zoobomb.net/minibikewinter
Need a place to stay? Check here. | Follow Zoobomb for Mini Bike Winter updates: @zoobombpdx
Thursday February 16th
Family Bomb
Meets at the Zoobomb Pyle – Time TBA
Craft night
Family Bomb will continue to craft night
Location will be posted closer to the event
Friday February 17th
Bike Smut (www.pdxpipeline.com/bike-smut-film-festival)
Rev Phil’s back with more Bike Porn
Clinton Street Theater – 2522 SE Clinton – 6:45PM
Ride leaves after Bike Porn to the Dropout Ride
Dropout Bike Ride
Meets at Colonel Sumners Park – SE 20th & Belmont – 9:00PM
Tall Tour Strictly Dance Party
Covered end location
Saturday February 18th
Brunch
Location TBA
Sprockettes
Sprockettes will preform before Chariot Wars
Chariot Wars
More info soon
After Party
Fashion Show, Silent Auction, Raffle, Sexy Time Story Telling
Bands, DJs, FUN!
More info soon
Sunday February 19th
Mini Bike Winter Olympics
Meets on Mt Tabor – Noon
Bike Bowling with a new & improved ramp, MiniCrotch Race
Continues to the CupCake Challenge on the waterfront
Mini Crit
Location TBA – 7:00PM
Badass Challenge
Meets at the Zoobomb Pyle – 8:30PM
Can you make your way up the hill without the Max first?
16″ bike, no frame mods, single speed, no clipless/cages
Tour Da Bomb
Meets at the Zoobomb Pyle – 8:30PM
Mini Bike Race, Freak Bike Race, Skate Race, Gravity Bike Race
Family Bomb
Monday February 20th
Monday Funday?
Meets at Colonel Sumners Park
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February 15, 2012 at 17:38
The video you link to as a representation of Mini Bike Winter is rather terrible.
Here, watch this instead:
http://vimeo.com/groups/14116/videos/9715534