Portland keeping it unusual this weekend with the annual Plunderathon this Saturday. The meeting point is the Skidmore fountain at noon, just like it has been for 168 previous years. Activities include disliking lawyers, wearing pirate gear, drinking, plundering, games, and more drinking. Have a good time!
Portland Plunderathon Email:
Yarrrrr! It be that time o’ year again! Oil yer muskets and sharpen yer swords, fer it be time to get revenge on the lawyers who robbed We Pirates of rightful ownership of the city of Port-land all those 169 years ago!
Ye also be wantin’ ta take a few limes and eat ‘em, as there be a case o’ what seems ta be scurvy runnin’ through the crew lately. Two assistant historians be already dead. Our new monkey accused ‘im o’ cheatin’ at dice, and threw monkey-poop at ‘im. He was dead by mornin‘, but it likely be a conicidence. The monkey was reassigned ta’ the dead assistant historian’s duties. The other assistant historian o’ the crew was found dead in his bunk with some brown smelly crud on ‘ih face and some brown fur all over ‘im, so we assumed he was eatin’ chocolate he was smugglin’ aboard the ship in a fur-lined box).
Worry not; a mere two death o’ assistant historians be nothin abnormal. They probably got sick from too much time readin’ and studyin’ and other such behavior. The sawbones we captured from the militia next week advised all the historians includin’ meself to get some sunshine, so we are all takin’ turns playin’ with the monkey topside. It helps keep morale up and takes my mind off all these red spots that are startin’ ta cover me body (some Lawyer probably cursed me or somethin).
Anyway, me hearties, be ready fer the 169th Annual PLUNDERATHON! We will be hittin’ the fair city of Port-land on the same day we have every year fer 169 years without fail, and takin’ our revenge against all the lawyers, militia and ale houses that have wronged us over the years. Muster is, of course, at high noon at the Fountain of Skid-more, which as ye all know is the site of … something. Pirates did something there.
The page with the original log entry seems to have some steak sauce smeared on it, and I can’t quite make it out. I’m sure it was something important though.
-Dave The Horrible,
Chief Historian and Owner of a Strange Cat
the Infernal Order of Pirates, Buccaneers, Scallywags, Privateers and
Grocery Store Clerks (est. 1843)
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From Dave The Great (& Horrible):
Plunderathon starts at noon, at Skidmore Fountain. People are advised to wear comfy footwear rather than “sexy” footwear because the route is a 12-hour marathon of bar-hopping with events between each bar.
Each bar stop is about long enough for one drink, maybe two. Then we move on to some games or (I didn’t say “pranks,” but you overheard someone else say it), or just silly singing. There is at least one band, a couple basic food stops, etc.
$5 bills are what people should bring. Large bills go to the back of the line, credit cards go behind them. Don’t expect change, just order a simple drink (no blender drinks, long island ice tea or anything else that takes forever to make), slap down cash and move along.
People can make a half-ass effort to be a pirate (old-style, Somali, digital or other), but if they don’t at least try they don’t get to enter some of the places we are going.
Route is secret (publishing it causes problems with crowds of this size) but people can follow @drunkenrampage on Twitter and it will update our location every time we move, so late-comers and lost pirates can find the way back.
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